我的妻子希望我们只是朋友关系
I'm 40, a professional, married to my wife for seven years - a second marriage for us both. Until recently, I thought we were very happy. She's the love of my life. Looking back, I can see that some of the romance and passion had disappeared, but we were very comfortable with each other. She never said anything to make me think she was unhappy.
我是一位40岁的职业人士，我和妻子已经结婚7年了--我们都是二婚。一直以来，我都觉得我们十分幸福--直到最近。她是我一生的挚爱。回首往事，我知道我们间的浪漫和激情褪去了，但我们却相处的十分融洽。她从没说过任何会让我觉得她不高兴的话。When we first started dating, she'd said she was never a very sexual person and didn't have a strong sex life with her ex-husband. So, when our sex life became less frequent, I assumed this was just not a priority.
刚开始约会的时候，她说她从来都不是一个性欲强的人，她和前夫的性生活也不是那么和谐。所以，当我们的性生活越来越少时，我以为这并不是什么要紧事。Recently, she told me she was no longer attracted to me and hadn't been for a long time. I was severely shocked as I thought things were going great, we'd been making plans for the future. Yet she felt she may want to leave and explore a relationship with someone else.
近来，她告诉我她已经不再被我吸引，而且这种情况已经持续很长一段时间了。我非常震惊，因为我觉得我们相处的很愉快，我们还一起为未来做打算呢。但她却想要离开，与别人开始一段恋情。
I later learned that one of her first loves had recently, suddenly, messaged her. Though she says she's dismissed him, it raised unresolved feelings in her. She realized that if someone from her past can make her feel buried passion, and then I can no longer bring that out in her.
后来我才知道，她的某一个初恋最近突然给她发短信了。虽然她说她没理他，但却让她心绪复杂。她意识到，如果故人能让她感受到被掩埋的激情，那么我就再也无法让她有这种感受。I'm feeling rejected and hurt. She wants to remain friends because she thinks I've become more of a friend than a lover. I wish she'd want to work on the relationship instead of just giving up and moving on.
我有种被拒的感觉、十分受伤。她希望我们还是朋友，因为她觉得我更像她的朋友，而非爱人。我希望她能和我继续这段感情，而不是放弃我、开始新的生活。I know I should tell her to leave so I can move on with my life and try to heal. But I'm having a hard time because I still love her and don't want to lose her. But if she starts dating someone else, that'll hurt even more and I don't want to be around to see it.
我知道我应该告诉她让她离开，这样我就能继续我的生活、试着疗伤。但我十分难过，因为我仍旧爱着她、不想失去她。但如果她开始和别人约会，那么我受的伤害会更大，我不希望见证这些事情的发生。How To Proceed?
如何继续下去？It's a stark contrast - all the while you felt so happy with your wife, she was growing away from you gradually. Those opposite reactions may be her pattern, since she also lacked a strong sex life with her ex-husband. She may even be a woman who only feels passion when there's new excitement in her life.
这是一个鲜明的对比--你觉得和妻子生活得很开心，但她却在渐渐远离你。这些相反的反应可能是她的模式，因为她和前夫的性生活也不和谐。她可能是那种生活中有新鲜刺激时才会感到激情的女人。
