有关不忠的令人吃惊的事实
Fact #1: Most men are still in love with their wives when they cheat.
事实一：大多数男人在出轨的时候，仍旧爱着自己的老婆。Men who cheat haven't fallen out of love; they've become unsatisfied with the current state of it. "Cheating usually occurs in the phase of companionate love, when couples begin to settle down, have kids," says clinical psychologist Andra Brosh, PhD. While they're fulfilled in some areas, like being a provider, the romance may be missing.
出轨的男人并不是不爱了，只是他们对目前的感情状态不满意。"人们通常在伴侣式爱情阶段出轨（夫妻双方开始安顿下来、有了孩子），"临床心理学家安德拉·布罗什博士说道。虽然他们在某些领域感到满足，比如是家庭的经济支柱，但他们却觉得缺少了浪漫。"We more often think of women complaining about a lack of romance, but men feel it, too," says Dr. Brosh. "They frequently suffer in silence, believing they can't get what they want from their spouses." To avoid this in your marriage, plan nights out together, and discuss hopes and dreams-not just workdays and your son's last soccer game.
"我们总觉得女性会埋怨不浪漫，但男性也会有同样的感受，"布罗什博士说。"他们备受沉默的煎熬，认为无法从另一半身上得到自己想要的东西。"为了避免自己的婚姻出现这一状况，你可以计划共度浪漫一夜、讨论彼此的希望和梦想--不只是工作日和儿子的最后一场足球比赛。
Fact #2: Men usually cheat with women they know.
事实二：男人通常会出轨他们认识的女人。Cheaters don't generally pick up random women in bars. "My first husband cheated on me with a childhood friend," says Diane* from New York City. "His family was close to her family, so they never lost touch." Intimacy expert Mary Jo Rapini explains, "A lot of women think that all cheating women are floozies-not true. The relationships are usually friendships first." In fact, more than 60% of affairs start at work, according to Focus on the Family. A good idea: Make sure your husband feels more connected to you than to his business partner. "Spouses go to work, take care of their kids and do separate things at night. That has to stop," says Rapini. She suggests always going to bed at the same time and cuddling.
出轨者通常不会对酒吧刚认识的姑娘下手。"我的第一任丈夫出轨了儿时的朋友，"纽约市的戴安娜说道。"他的家人和她的家人很熟，所以他们一直都有联系。"亲密关系专家玛丽·乔·拉皮妮解释道，"很多女性认为出轨的女性都是荡妇--但事实并非如此。他们的感情都是从友情开始。"Focus on the Family表示：事实上，60%的婚外情源于工作。好主意：确保丈夫和你的关系比他和商业伙伴的关系更密切。"夫妻一起上班、照顾他们的孩子、晚上各做各的事。这种模式必须停止，"拉皮妮说道。她建议人们一起上床睡觉、而且要抱着睡。Fact #3: Men cheat to save their marriages.
事实三：男人出轨是为了挽救他们的婚姻。"Men love their spouses, but they don't know how to fix their relationship problems, so they go outside their marriages to fill any holes," says licensed marriage and family therapist Susan Mandel, PhD. Then, they can live happily ever after with their wife-and their mistress-without confronting the real issues.
"男人很爱他们的老婆，但却不知该如何解决他们的情感问题，所以他们出去找人填补空缺，"持证婚姻和家庭治疗师苏珊·曼德尔博士说道。然后，他们就可以和自己的妻子--还有他们的情妇--幸福美满的生活，从来都不正视真正的问题。
