“神秘顾客”逛北京三里屯
As would be expected in a city of more than 20m, traffic in Beijing moves at the pace of a blood clot and feels equAlly lethal. The best strategy for shoppers is to focus all of their energy on a single district. I went to Opposite House, a new, posh, modern art gallery-cum-hotel flanked by the Sanlitun shopping villages.
Sanlitun Village North is modelled after traditional siheyuan (housing quadrangles) and features high-end international luxury designer showrooms. The Alexander McQueen unit was in the final stages of construction but most others were open. At Balenciaga, I saw a black crepe asymmetric skirt with khaki accents around the low-slung waistline (Rmb4,350, ￡440). Balmain hooked me with a heavenly silk blouse with artfully deconstructed edging (Rmb11,200) that was beige enough to minimise see-through action but not so beige that it felt like it was trying to minimise see-through action.
三里屯Village北区(Sanlitun Village North)是仿照传统四合院(siheyuan)而建，以经营国际高端奢侈品而著称。我看到亚历山大?麦奎(Alexander McQueen)的专柜装修已近尾声，但其它多数国际品牌门店都已开张纳客。在巴黎世家(Balenciaga)，我看到了一件卡其布装饰低腰的非对称黑色绉布裙（4350RMB，约合440英镑）。巴尔曼(Balmain)一件精致女式拆解式磨边丝质上衣深深打动了我（11200RMB），这件米色衣服的颜色恰到好处，穿上它既让人偷窥不得，但又让人贼心不死、想入非非。Most of the other items in the store induced some degree of sticker shock, such as the various red and black safety-pin laden evening gowns priced in the same range as a mid-sized sedan. I was told cash was preferred to credit, which explains why my next stop was a cash machine.
店里卖的多数品牌引发了相当程度的“标价震惊”（sticker shock，指看到标签上的价格而震惊），如缀满平安针的各款红黑晚礼服标价都能抵上一辆中型轿车的价格。店员告诉我，在此购物，现金而非信用卡更获欢迎，这就是缘何我下一个停靠点是自动柜员机。
In the same courtyard as the cash machine sits the IT Beijing Market, a multi-storey style-fest proudly modelled on Comme des Gar?ons’ Dover Street Market concept store in central London. Even though at least half the merchandise is for women, it felt overwhelmingly male, thanks to the industrial feel of the building: wide-open spaces and exposed staircases.
与自动柜员机位于同一院子的是IT Beijing Market时尚店，这是一家多层潮店，风格完全比照伦敦市中心Comme des Garcons的多佛街市场(Dover Street Market)概念店。虽说一多半的商品都为女品，但整体感觉阳刚味十足，这主要归因于整幢大楼的商业气息：宽敞的内部空间以及隐约显现的各层楼梯。The clothing, shoes and accessories are more curated than displayed. I was told by the staff that there were 15 different lines from Comme des Gar?ons in the store, as well as designers such as Maison Martin Margiela, Ann Demeulemeester, Lanvin, Yves Saint Laurent and Givenchy.
服装、鞋以及配饰更多的是策展，而非单纯展出。店员对我说店里除了展出马丁?马吉拉(Maison Martin Margiela)、安?穆拉米斯特(Ann Demeulemeester)、朗万(Lanvin)、伊夫?圣洛朗(Yves Saint Laurent)以及纪梵希(Givenchy)等名品外，还展出了Comme des Gar?ons15大系列的品牌服饰。Four sales staff tracked my every move, and while I know some people appreciate that level of attention, it made me feel like I was an exhibit rather than a customer.
四个员工亦步亦趋，虽说有些顾客喜欢这种贴心服务，但本人却感觉自己成了展品而不是消费者。About a block away sits 3.3 Fashion Plaza where stores are all numbered (not named) and the layout is designed more like a logic puzzle than a mall. None of the boutiques takes credit cards, so come prepared or the “conveniently located ATMs” will add about 5 per cent to your tab.
3.3时尚广场(3.3 Fashion Plaza)就隔了一个街区，此处的各个门店都是按数字而非名字排列，整个布局与其说卖场，倒不如说更似逻辑拼图。所有的精品店都不接受信用卡付款，所以来时就带上现金，否则在“精心设置的自动取款机”上取款，就会多收约5%的手续费。At the first store I saw, 1100, I walked out with a fluttery long-sleeved black silk shirt that had multiple tangles of attached pearl necklaces around the neckline, two chunky plastic necklaces with black and white muslin skulls, and a softly looped chain-link belt made of black and silver grosgrain ribbon. After some negotiation, I managed to bring the total price down to Rmb1,560.
在3.3时尚广场一楼，我看到了1100号店面，在此买了一件领口缀了好几串珍珠项链的黑色长袖丝质衬衣、两条挂着女性骷颅头坠子的粗塑料项链、以及一条由黑色及银色罗缎丝带(grosgrain ribbon)所做的、休闲圈状的链节皮带，经过一番讨价还价后，我最终成功把这些东西的总价压至1560元人民币。I then discovered store 1099 was nowhere near 1100; 1098 was nowhere I could find at all; the display case at 1091 was filled with crystal-encrusted cell phone cases priced upwards of Rmb3,000 that didn’t fit my phone or that of any of the other half dozen customers.
随后，我发现编号1100号的店面旁边根本没有1099号店，1098号店也是子虚乌有；1091号店卖的则全是水晶镶嵌的手机套，有的价格竞高达3000元人民币，但那些套与我的手机不配，也与旁边好几位顾客的手机不匹配。Somewhere in the 1080 range I was surprised to find a store with no number but an actual name, Made in Korea, which only offered items made in China.
在1080号店面旁边，我惊讶地发现一家没门牌号、却有实名的店面——韩国精品屋(Made in Korea)，却只卖中国生产的东西。At that addled point, I fully intended to find my way to the exit when I noticed stretchy black velvet dresses in the window of 1017. (Who doesn’t stop immediately for stretchy black velvet?)
此时我感觉有点晕菜，满脑子想的是找大楼的出口处，这时却突然看到1017号店里挂着的那件弹性款黑色天鹅绒衣服。（看到弹性款的黑色天鹅绒裙子，谁还能不马上停下匆忙的脚步？）I tried on a Rmb2,800 cheongsam (or qipao) mini with fuchsia piping along the edges that fit like an anti-gravity body glove. But, as I was walking back into the dressing room, I noticed three male stylists at the 1027 hair salon giggling and pointing at me.
我试穿了那件标价2800元人民币、紫红色滚边的超短旗袍，衣服再合适不过了，就像无重量的身体手套一般。但就在我走回更衣室的时候，我看到1027号美发店里的三位美发师正对我咯咯地笑，并朝我指指点点。Out of curiosity I approached and asked what they thought. “You look like a super-hot hooker,” said the immaculately coiffed, bespectacled, and overly belt-buckled hipster.
出于好奇，我走到他们跟前，征询他们的看法。“你的模样就像红得发紫的三陪，”那位戴着眼镜、头发梳得蹦棒、皮带系得过紧的潮人这样对我说。Slightly taken aback, the only thing I could think to reply was, “Oh, thank you”. I moved on to Sanlitun Village South.
听到这，我心头略微感到有点吃惊，唯一能答复对方的是，“哦，谢谢”。我随后又逛到了三里屯Village南区。The space is vast but a little easier to navigate than IT Beijing Market, since it was designed like a traditional hutong.
这儿的空间很宽敞，但比IT Beijing Market更容易逛，因为它是按照传统胡同布局设计的。This collection of stores is probably the most diverse in all Beijing: it’s home to both Apple and the world’s largest Adidas. I browsed through neutral blazers at Reiss and cashmere knits and flannel plaid shirts at Uniqlo. 全北京城，这儿的店面或许门类最为齐全：此处设有苹果(Apple)的门店以及全球最大的阿迪达斯(Adidas)门店。我随便看了看Reiss店的中性色夹克上衣，以及优衣库(Uniqlo)门店里的羊绒针织衫与法兰绒格子衬衣。
Nearing the end of the day and short on cash, I cruised into a pharmacy to pick up some essentials and noticed a quirky little store called Devil Nut next door.大逛了快整整一天，口袋里的钱也花得所剩无几，我转而来到一家药店买些常备药，此时，却看到了紧隔壁一家名叫Devil Nut的古怪小店。
Here, the fabrics were a little stiff, and the sizing and cut were more appropriate for a teenage boy than, say, a “super-hot hooker” – but I saw the humour in their zip hoodies, T-shirts and skater shorts featuring dragons, Lucha libre wrestlers and aliens.店里的服装使用稍硬的面料，尺码与剪裁风格更适合青少年，而不是本人这样的“超级三陪女”——但店里的拉链帽衫、T恤以及溜冰短裤（绘有龙、墨西哥摔跤手(lucha libre)以及外星人图案）则显得诙谐气十足。
I learnt two serious, and probably universal, lessons: cash is always better than credit cards and no stretchy black velvet.本人得到了或许是全世界通行的两大教训：现金永远比信用卡更获青睐，以及千万别买弹性款黑色天鹅绒衣服，虽然让人欲罢不能。
