女性的英语笑话

　　Maternal Miracles

A woman went to her doctor's office where she was seen by a young new doctor.

After about four minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.

She burst out screaming and ran down the hallway.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. She told him her story.

After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor and demanded:

"What's the matter with you? Mrs. Smith is 59 years old, has four grown children, seven grandchildren and you told her she was pregnant?!"

The new doctor continued writing on his clipboard and without looking up said,

"Does she still have the hiccups?"

　　A Conversation with MomMother: 'Hello?'

Daughter: 'Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?'

Mother: 'You're going out?'

Daughter: 'Yes.'

Mother: 'With whom?'

Daughter: 'With a friend.'

Mother: 'I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.'

Daughter: 'MOM, I didn't leave him. He left me!'

Mother: 'You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.'

Daughter: 'MA, I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?'

Mother: 'I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.'

Daughter: 'There are lots of things that you did and I don't.'

Mother: 'What are you hinting at?

Daughter: 'Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight..'

Mother: 'You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?'

Daughter: 'MA, its My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!'

Mother: 'So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?'

Daughter: 'MOM, He's not a loser.'

Mother: 'A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and aparasite.'

Daughter: 'MA, I don't want to argue; should I bring over the kids or not?'

Mother: 'Poor children with such a mother.'

Daughter: 'Such a what?'

Mother: 'With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.'

Daughter: 'ENOUGH MA!!!'

Mother: 'Don't scream at me. You probably scream at the loser too!'

Daughter: 'Great MA, Now you're worried about the loser?'

Mother: 'Ah, so you see he is a loser and I spotted him immediately.'

Daughter: 'Goodbye, mother.'

Mother: 'Wait! Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over? '

Daughter: 'I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!'

Mother: 'If you never go out do you expect to meet anyone?"