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关于警察和小偷的英文笑话

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笑话(анекдот)是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。小编精心收集了关于警察和小偷的英文笑话,供大家欣赏学习!

关于警察和小偷的英文笑话
  关于警察和小偷的英文笑话

burglar

A man went to the police station to speak to a burglar. He asked, "How did you get into my house without waking my wife? Tell me your secret because I've been trying to do that for years."

有一个男人去警察局和一个小偷谈话。有一个男人去警察局和一个小偷谈话。告诉我你的秘诀,因为我已经试了好几年了。

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1、It's Sooooo Coooooold

Lorenzo Dow, an evangelist of the last century, was on a preaching tour when he came to a smAll town one cold winter's night.

He entered the local general store to get some warmth, and saw the town's lawyers gathered around the pot-bellied stove, discussing the town's business. Not one offered to allow Dow into the circle.

Dow told the men who he was, and that he had recently had a vision where he had been given a tour of Hell, much like the traveler in Dante's Inferno.

When one of the lawyers asked him what he had seen, he replied, "Very much what I see here: All of the lawyers, gathered in the hottest place."

2、The Lawyer Who Died Suddenly

Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45.

He got to the gates of Heaven, and the angel standing there said, "We've been Waiting along time for you."

"What do you mean," he replied, "I'm only 45, in the prime of my life. Why did I have to die now?"

"Forty-Five? You're not 45, you're 82," replied the angel.

"Wait a minute. If you think I'm 82 then you have the wrong guy. I'm only 45. I can show you my birth certificate."

"Hold on. Let me go check," said the angel and disspeared inside.

After a few minutes the angel returned.

"Sorry, but by our records you are 82. I checked all the hours you have billed your clients, and you have to be 82."

3、It's Good to Admit a Fault 认错

John is not a "good" student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again.

"John!" Teacher says angrily.

"What? What's wrong?" John is awaken.

"Why do you make a face? It's classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing." Teacher says.

"No one is laughing." Teacher says.

"No, it's not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping." John fells upset.

"Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy." Teacher is satisfied with it.

约翰并不是个“好”学生。他总是在上课的时候睡觉。今天他又睡着了。

“约翰!”老师生气地喊他。

“什么?出什么事了?”约翰醒了。

“你为什么要做鬼脸?这是教室!看看!同学们都在笑!”老师生气地说。

“没有人在笑呀。”其他同学笑声地嘀咕。

“不,不是我。我没有做鬼脸。刚才我睡着了。”约翰感到不安。

“嗯,还不错。你承认自己的错误,还是给好孩子”老师为此感到满意。


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