十个人们不再遵守的礼仪(2)

sing Up

7.盛装打扮

I love my yoga pants as much as the next gAl, but occasionally I find myself yearning for the days when people really cared about how they looked in public. Church just isn't the same when you're standing one pew behind someone with gaping holes in their saggy jeans, and don't even get me started on adults wearing pajamas in public. It's not. That hard. To put. On pants.

我很喜欢像瑜伽裤那样休闲随意的穿着，这种喜欢不亚于对下任女友的喜爱，但有时我也会强烈地怀念以前那些日子，那时候人们还非常在意自己在公众场合的穿着。而如今教堂里的情形都不同以往了，站在你前一排的人可能会穿着松垮的乞丐牛仔裤做礼拜，更别提那些在公众场合穿着睡衣的成年人了。好好穿裤子就那么难吗……

Men and women used to don suits and dresses to fly the friendly skies, but they also didn't have to go through the extensive parking, transportation and security hassles that we endure nowadays. So I say, dress for comfort when traveling and save the etiquette lessons for more pressing matters, like not hogging the armrests. Unless you're trying to get a free upgrade to first class.

曾经人们坐飞机时都要好好打扮一番，男士们都要穿西装，女士们则穿连衣裙。不过那时候的人们倒也不像我们今天这样，忍受着无休止的停车困难，交通拥挤和出行不安全的问题。要我说，除非你打算免费升级到头等舱，要不旅行时还是穿得舒服点儿吧，且在紧要关头还是应该遵守礼节，比如不霸占扶手。

The shift to casual dress, while welcome in everyday life, seems to be bleeding over into fancier events where more people are ignoring formal and semiformal dress guidelines. "I go to a lot of formal events, and this is a huge pet peeve of mine," says Staci-Jill Burnley of Alexandria, Virginia. "Nothing looks tackier than a man in dress uniform or tux with a woman in a cocktail dress." A fancy enough event will indicate semiformal (knee-length cocktail dress) or formal (long or floor-length gown). If you don't have the appropriate attire on hand, hit the mall or go shopping in a friend's closet. You really don't want to draw Staci-Jill's ire. Trust me.

如今人们在日常生活中更倾向于穿休闲的服装了，不过也有越来越多的人忽视了在正式场合的正式和半正式着装规则，这可真是让人痛心疾首。来自弗吉尼亚州亚历山大市的史戴西-吉尔·伯恩利（Staci-Jill Burnley）说：“我去过很多正式场合，没有什么比看到一个穿着正式晚礼服的男人牵着一个穿着酒会小礼服的女人更俗气的事了，在正式场合穿错礼服是我最忌讳的事情。”在一个非常盛大的场合就意味着人们的穿着为半正式的（及膝礼服）或正式的（长的或拖地晚礼服）。如果你没有合适的衣服，那就去商场逛逛，或者看看朋友的衣柜里有没有合适的。相信我，你可千万别激怒史戴西-吉尔。

ing About Money

6.谈论金钱

Discussion of money and all things related used to be a faux pas of Rockefeller-sized proportions. In the olden days no one would be tacky enough to assign a figure to their net worth or disclose the cost of their new Rolls Royce. Today, people barely bat an eye when discussing salary and lifestyle, often showcasing their good fortune on social media for all their friends to see and covet. Equally off-putting are the folks who feel quite free to ask you how much you paid for your home or your car.

同拥有洛克菲勒同等资产的富人谈论钱及相关的话题都是失礼的。在过去，没有人俗气到派人计算他的净资产，也不会向外人透露新买的劳斯莱斯的价格。如今，当人们讨论薪水和生活方式时，几乎连眼睛都不眨一下，还经常在社交媒体上炫耀自己的好运气，好让好友们看到并心生羡慕。同样令人不快的是，人们会毫不避讳地问你在房子和车子上花费了多少钱。

It is one thing to be proud of your accomplishments, and quite another to brag, particularly when it's to people who might be having a tough time financially. The experts over at The Emily Post Institute encourage manner-minded people to revert back to the days when dollar signs were rarely discussed, certainly not in envy-inducing specifics. Even when asked outright about income, there are easy enough ways to dance around the topic, with the canned Post response being, "I make enough to get by". And if someone asks you about the price of your house, make a joke ("We paid more than we liked!") or just be honest ("I'm sorry, I'm not really comfortable discussing that"). A rude question doesn't deserve a straight answer.

对自己获得的成就感到骄傲是一回事，但吹牛又是另一回事了，特别是对那些正处在经济困难时期的人炫耀。艾米莉·波斯特研究所(The Emily Post Institute)的专家们鼓励有礼貌的人回到过去不怎么谈及金钱的日子，当然这种情况并不会诱发嫉妒。即使当我们被直截了当地问及收入情况时，我们也有足够多且简单的方法跳出这个话题，波斯特专家们对此会回复道：“我的收入足以维持生活。”如果有人问你房子的价格，开个玩笑告诉他：“比我们想的要多。”或者诚实地告诉他“对不起，我不想谈论这个问题。”这样粗鲁的问题不值得我们直接坦率地回答。

tuality

5.守时

I don't know when the phrase "fashionably late" became popular and regularly practiced, but it has taken off with abandon. In fact, if you're prone to promptness like me, chances are you'll be the only person at any given party for at least a half-hour after the indicated start time. That's because arriving extremely late has become the standard. In stark contrast, most etiquette experts agree that the window of fashionable tardiness is a mere five to 15 minutes. The train seems to have left the station on this etiquette infraction, with no signs of turning back. Since it makes my eye twitch to be late, I'll enjoy the small crowd and extra finger food while everyone else trickles in slowly.

我不知道何时“时髦的迟到”变得流行，并且经常发生，但这种情况已经在生活中恣意地蔓延。事实上，如果你像我一样守时，很有可能你会成为在聚会指定时间开始后至少半个小时内到场的唯一一个人。那是因为如今迟到很久已经成为一个标准。与之形成鲜明对比的是，大部分礼仪专家也同意“时髦的迟到”，但能接受的范围仅仅是5到15分钟。时光的列车早已在违反礼仪的轨道上离站，没有回头的迹象。可是我依然会做个守时的人，因为我迟到会眨眼，这会让我极不舒服，所以当别人还在慢慢地赶过来时，我倒可以享受宽敞的空间和额外的零食。

The only time a late arrival may be acceptable is when it's a cultural norm among your family, friends or social group. If that's the case, then an on-time arrival might mean catching the hostess running frantically in her underwear to take something out of the oven.

只有在一种情况下，迟到是可以接受的，即在你的家庭，朋友或者社会团体里，迟到已经成为一种文化规范。如果是那样的话，准时来访也就意味着可能会看到女主人只穿着内衣，火急火燎地从烤箱拿出食物为即将到访的客人做准备。

alry

4.骑士精神

Although chivalry is typically associated with men, make no mistake — women can be courteous in many of the same ways. In fact, most ladies no longer expect to be treated with kid gloves as was common in decades past. We fought long and hard to be respected as strong, intelligent and self-sufficient people! As a youngish, able-bodied woman, I have absolutely no problem opening my own doors, carrying heavy boxes and pulling out my own chair. If someone offers to assist, I won't turn them down, but it's usually a pleasant surprise. My issue with today's lack of assistance etiquette has more to do with failure to help people who really need it.

尽管骑士精神是男士的标配，但毫无疑问女性也可以在同样场合下做到举止端庄，彬彬有礼。事实上，和过去不同，现在的女性并不再十分希望得到男性的温柔照顾。为赢得尊重，让社会认可女性同男性一样独立、智慧、充满力量，我们一直为之作着漫长而又艰苦的斗争。作为一个年轻充满活力的女性，我完全可以自己开门下车，搬运重箱子，拉出椅子更没问题。如果有人热心提供帮助，我也不会拒绝，但通常来说这并不是必须，权当做社交中的意外惊喜吧。而我想说的是，抛开这些礼节性的帮助，今天我们真正匮乏的是去帮助那些确实需要我们照顾的人们。

"When I lived in New York City I constantly saw young, healthy men and women on the subway who were so rude or engrossed in their phones or books that they let the obviously pregnant, handicapped, injured and elderly passengers stand while they comfortably commuted," says Monique Johnson, who currently resides in Washington D.C., and has called out many a passenger for failing to give up a seat for someone who really needs it. "It's easy enough to get your head out of the clouds and not be a jerk."

现居华盛顿特区的莫尼克·约翰逊(Monique Johnson)说：“住在纽约的那段时间，我经常在地铁里看见身强体健的上班族疯抢座位，沉浸在自己的手机或书上，完全无视身边站着的老人、孕妇、残疾人以及伤员等这些需要帮助的弱势群体。”说完这些，他还指出现在许多人都不会给真正需要座位的乘客让座。“放下手头的事，别总是云里雾里，多关注你身边的人，为他们提供帮助吧，这样我们才称得上有绅士风度。”

Think about it this way: Doing someone else a solid by simply giving up your seat, holding the elevator or spotting them a dollar can change the trajectory of their day for the positive, all at very little effort to you. Plus, you might need the favor returned one day.

这样想，给更需要的人让出你的座位；扶残疾人坐电梯；给乞讨的人一美元……你的这些小小举动很可能就会让这些人正能量一整天。要相信，总有一天当你面临困难时，你付出的爱心社会也会同样给予你。

审校:浅芷湄 编辑:Freya然