好背易读的英文短笑话
冷笑话是一种新兴的语言现象,伴随着网络的普及它已经渗透到了青年群体的日常生活,偶尔爆出的一两句冷笑话能使交流氛围变得轻松愉悦,也能展示交谈者的幽默和智慧。下面是本站小编带来的好背易读的英文短笑话，欢迎阅读!
Ashamed soldier 惭愧的士兵
Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting.
One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter. After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, You're quite hopeless, Peter! Don't waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!
Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot.
Heavens! The officer said. Has that silly man really shot himself?
He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. I'm sorry, sir, he said, but I missed again.
彼得十八岁那年参了军，他需要参加几个月的学习以成为一名好士兵。彼得在其他方面都做得很好，但是射击不行。
一天他和伙伴们练习射击，除了彼得其他人都没有问题。他射了九次，一次也没有命中目标。这时，教新兵射击的教官说：彼得，你看来是没希望了，不要连最后一发子弹都浪费掉!去那堵墙后面用它向自己打一枪吧。
彼得感到非常惭愧。他走到那堵墙后面。几分钟后，教官和新兵们听到一声枪响。
上帝!教官叫起来，难道那个笨蛋真的朝自己开枪了?
他急忙跑到那堵墙后面，发现彼得安然无恙。对不起，长官，他说，我还是没有命中。
好背易读的英文短笑话篇二Response Ability 答问技巧
An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation(集会) for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity."
Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong."
A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."
衣阿华州奥格根的一位牧师正在与一位教友为一杯咖啡而猜硬币。别人问他那是否构成赌博行为时，牧师答道：“这仅仅是决定由谁来做一件善事的一种科学方法。”
当我人问哲学家罗素是否愿意为了他的信仰而献身时，他答道：“当然不会。毕竟，我可能会是错的。”
一份报纸组织了一场竞赛，为下面的问题征集最佳答案：“如果卢浮宫起了火，而你只能救出一幅画，你将救出哪一幅?” 获奖的答案是：“最接近门口的那一幅。”
好背易读的英文短笑话篇三The Problem of Two Flounders 两个比目鱼问题
Simon was an inveterate(根深的) fisherman, well known for exaggerating the size of the one that got away. But there came a day when he actually caught two enormous flounders(挣扎，比目鱼) . He immediately invited a few friends over to dine, then tried to figure out how best to serve the fish. If I use both, he told his wife, it will seem ostentatious(招摇的) .
Why not serve a piece of each? she suggested.
No, if I cut them up, nobody will believe I caught two giant flounders. Simon racked his brain. Then he had an idea.
The guests were seated at the table when their host strode in with a platter(大盘子) , holding the biggest flounder they'd ever seen. Suddenly Simon stumbled and fell. Everyone cried out in dismay as the fish crashed to the floor, but Simon quickly brushed himself off.
Dear, he called out to his wife, bring in the other flounder!
西蒙是个老练的渔夫。人们都熟知他爱吹嘘跑掉的那条鱼的尺寸。但有一天他确实抓了两条极大的比目鱼。他立刻邀请几个朋友过来吃饭，然后着力搞清楚怎样上鱼。如果两条一起上，他对妻子说，好像有点炫耀之嫌了。
何不两条鱼各上一块呢?他妻子建议道。
不行，如果把两条鱼都切碎了，就不会有人相信我抓了两条大比目鱼了。西蒙绞尽了脑汁，终于想出了一个好办法。
客人已在餐桌边就座完毕，这时主人大步地走进来，手里端着一个托盘，托盘上是一个他们所见过的最大的比目鱼。突然西蒙被什么东西绊了一下摔倒了。所有的人都惊慌地叫了起来，因为鱼在地板上摔得粉碎。但是西蒙迅速地摆脱了窘境。
亲爱的，他对妻子喊道，把另一条鱼端上来!
好背易读的英文短笑话篇四The Way to Keep Away Flies 驱蝇妙招
There was a customer who came and asked a waiter in a cafeteria: "Oh, tell me, Susan, how do you keep all the flies out of your coffee shop?" So she said: "I just let the flies taste the stuff." 有位客人问餐厅的服务生：苏珊，你们店里都没有苍蝇，你是怎么做到的? 苏珊回答说：我只是让苍蝇先试吃我们的东西。
好背易读的英文短笑话篇五The Best Stimulant 最佳兴奋剂
A patient said to his doctor, "Doc, please give me something that will stimulate me, excite me, and put me in a, very, very highly stimulated spirit, a fighting, excited spirit."
So the doctor said, "Don't worry, take this, and after you see the bill, you will have all these feelings."
病人跟医生说：“医生，请给我一些可以振奋、刺激、充满斗志的药。”
医生说：“别担心，这个拿去，看到这张帐单以后，你要的这些就都会有了。”
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