外国趣味笑话阅读
在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘记了放松自己。下面本站小编为大家带来外国趣味笑话阅读，希望大家喜欢!
外国趣味笑话：关于降落伞
You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute.
你是一架失控飞机上两名乘客中的一名，现在只有一个降落伞。
Pessimist: you refuse the parachute because you might die in the jump anyway.
悲观主义者:你拒绝使用降落伞，因为即使你跳下去也会死。
Optimist: you refuse the parachute because people have survived jumps just like this before.
乐观主义者:你拒绝使用降落伞，因为曾经有人不用降落伞跳下去也能活。
Procrastinator: you play a game of Monopoly for the parachute.
慢性子:你玩一盘强手棋来决定是否拿降落伞。
Lawyer: you charge the airline for one parachute.
律师:因为只有一个降落伞，你要控诉航空公司。
Doctor: you need to run more tests，and then take the parachute.
医生:在你拿降落伞以前你要仔细的检查多遍。
Sales executive: you sell the parachute at top retail rates and get the names of the other guy’s friends and relatives who might like one too.
销售代表:你以最高的零售价把降落伞卖给另一个人，然后要来他的亲戚朋友的名字，问他们是否也想要一个。
Internal Revenue Service: you confiscate the parachute along with the other guy’s luggage and wallet.
国内税收员:你把降落伞连同另一个人的行李和钱包一起没收。
Advertiser: you sing that what he need is a neon parachute with computer altimeter for only $39. 99.
广告商:你唱出他们需要的是一个尼龙降落伞和一个电脑高度计，只卖三十九点九九美元。
Engineer; you make him another parachute out of aisle curtains and dental floss.
工程师:你用走廊的窗帘和牙线为另一个人再做一个降落伞。
Scientist: you give him the parachute and ask him to send you a report on how well it worked.
科学家:你把降落伞给另一个人，然后叫他们寄给你一份降落伞怎样工作的报告。
Mathematician: you refuse to accept the parachute without proof that it will work in all cases.
数学家:如果不能证明降落伞在任何情况下都能正常使用你拒绝使用降落伞。
Philosopher: you ask how he knows the parachute actually exists.
哲学家:你问另一个人降落伞他怎么知道降落伞确实存在。
English Teacher; you explicate simile and metaphor in the parachute instructions.
英语老师:你会在降落伞的说明书里找出哪里是明喻哪里是暗喻。
Comparative Literature: you read the parachute instructions in all four languages.
比较文学学者:你会通读降落伞说明上的四种语言。
Computer Scientist: you design a machine capable of operating a parachute as well as a human being could.
电脑专家:你会设计一个能和人一样操纵降落伞的机器。
Psychoanalyst: you ask him what the shape of a parachute reminds him of.
心理医生:你会问另一个人降落伞的形状会让他想起什么。
Artist: you hang the parachute on the wall and sign it.
艺术家:你会把降落伞挂在墙上，然后在上面签上名字。
Libertarian: after reminding him of his constitutional right to have a parachute，you take it and jump out.
自由论者:你会提醒另一个人他拥有宪法赋予的拿降落伞的权利，然后你拿起来跳出去。
Surgeon General: you issue a warning that skydiving can be hazardous to your health.
外科医生:你会提出跳伞运动有害健康的警告。
National Rifle Association: you shoot him and take the parachute.
国家枪械协会会员:你开枪打死另一个人然后拿走降落伞。
Police Bigot: you beat him unconscious with the parachute.
顽固的警察:你会用降落伞打得另一个人不省人事。
Environmentalist: you refuse to use the parachute unless it is biodegradable.
环保主义者:除非能证明降落伞是生物可分解的，否则你拒绝使用降落伞。
Sports Fan: you start betting on how long it will take to crash.
体育迷:你开始打赌飞机多长时间会坠毁。
外国趣味笑话：生日玫瑰
A young man was in love with a beautiful girl. One day she said to him: "It is my birthday tomorrow.”
一个年轻的男子爱上了一位美丽的姑娘。一天她对他说:“明天就是我的生日了。”
"Oh,” said the young man, "I'll send you roses，one rose for each year of your life.”
“噢，我要送给你玫瑰，每一朵玫瑰都象征着你生命中所渡过的每一年。”年轻的男子说。
The same evening he went to a florist's. As he knew that the girl was twenty一two years old , he paid for twenty一two roses and asked the florist to send them to the girl the next day.
那天晚上他就去拜访了种花人。他知道那个姑娘22岁了，于是他买下了22朵玫瑰并请求种花人第二天把玫瑰给那位姑娘送去。
When the young man left the shop, the florist thought: "This young man is a very good customer. I think that my price was too high. I' 11 send ten more roses.”
年轻的男子离开了花店，种花人心里想:“这位年青人真是个心地善良的好人。我给他的价格太高了。我要多给他一些花。”
He did so. The next morning thirty-two roses were sent to the girl.
他确实是那样做的。二天清晨，种花人把犯朵玫瑰一起送给了那位女孩。
When the young man came to see her, she didn't speak to him. And he never knew why she was so angry with him.
当这位年轻的男子兴冲冲地来看望她的时候，她对他置之不理。当然，他是永远也不会知道为什么她收到玫瑰反而会生气了。
外国趣味笑话：快乐并不富裕
An old rich man died and left his son a lot of money. But the son was a foolish young man, and he quickly spent all the money，so that soon he had nothing left. Of course, when that happened, all his friends left him. When he was quite poor and alone，he went to see Mildred, who was a kind, clever old man and often helped people when they had troubles.
一个已故的老富翁留给了他的儿子一大笔财产。但是他的儿子是个愚蠢的年青人，他很快就挥霍完了所有的钱财，变得一无所有了。当然，当他变成了一个穷光蛋的时候，他所有的朋友都离他而去了。他穷困潦倒而又孤苦伶仃，于是，他去看望了米尔德里德，一个和蔼、聪明的老人，他经常帮助那些深处困境的人们。
"My money has finished and my friends have gone，”said the young man. "What will happen to me now?"
“我的钱全都花光了，我的朋友也都离开我了，”年轻人说，“我该怎么办呢?”
"Don’t worry, young man,” answered Mildred, "Everything will soon be all right again. Wait, and you will soon feel much happier.”
“不要担心，年轻人，”米尔德里德说，“一切很快就会变好的。到那时，你又将体会到快乐。”
The young man was very glad. "Am I going to get rich again then?" he asked Mildred.
年轻人听后很高兴。“你是说我还会变得富有吗?”他向米尔德里德急切地问到。
"No, I didn't mean that，”said the old man，"I meant that you would soon get used to being poor and to having no friends.”
“不，我不是那个意思。”老人说:“我的意思是你不久将会习惯这种穷困和没有朋友的生活。”
