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![开心一笑:新西兰的气候是什么样的?]()
TheClimateofNewZealandTeacher:Matthew,whatistheclimateofNewZealand?Matthew:VeryCold,sir.Teacher:Wrong.Matthew:But,sir!Whentheysendusmeatitalwaysarrivesfrozen!新西兰的气候老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样？马修......
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![开心一笑: Excuse for Speeding 超速行驶是为了赶紧到达那里]()
HarryandLloydwerespeedingdowntheroad.Apolicecarpulledthemover."Whyonearthwereyoudrivingsofast?"thepolicemanyelled."Ourbrakesarenogood,sowewantedtogettherebeforewehadanaccident!"哈里与劳埃德超速行驶，一......
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![开心一笑:那个"甜嘴"老公的真相]()
Berniewasinvitedtohisfriend'shomefordinner.Morris,thehost,precededeveryrequesttohiswifebyendearingterms,callingherHoney,MyLove,Darling,Sweetheart,etc.伯尼被邀请到朋友家吃晚餐。莫里斯，也是请客的主人......
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![开心一笑:英语笑话:基本原则]()
OneofmyfavoriteteachersatSoutheastMissouriStateUniversityinCapeGirardeauwasknownofhisdrollsenseofhumor.Explaininghisgroundrulestoonefreshmanclass,hesaid,"NowIknowmylecturescanoftenbedryandboring,soIdo......
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![开心一笑:我是来给你安装电话的]()
Ayoungbusinessmanhadjuststartedhisbusiness,andrentedabeautifuloffice.一个年轻人刚刚开始做生意，就租了一个漂亮的办公室。Sittingthere,hesawamancomeintotheouteroffice.Wishingtoappearbusy,thebusinessmanpick......
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![开心一笑:给我捎杯牛奶]()
At2a.m.Mrs.Culkinwasconvincedthatshehadheardaprowlerintheliving-room.Tiptoedown-stairs,shetoldherhusband,"Don'tturnonthelights.Sneakuphimbeforeheknowswhat'shappening."DutifullyMr.Culkinputonhi......
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![开心一笑:历史不新鲜]()
Ahistoryteacherandhiswifeweresittingatatable,thewifeaskedAnythingnewatwork,andhereplied:"no,IamteachingHistory."一位历史老师和他的妻子吃饭。妻子问到工作上有什么新鲜事。丈夫回答说：没有，我是教历史的。......
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![生活随笔：让你开心一笑的21件小事]()
摘录：在一个无聊的夜晚调台时，正好发现某台有一部你喜欢却没有机会去看的电影才刚刚开始。在拥挤的停车场刚好找到一个正要空出的停车位。ngupthinkingyouhavetogetupandgotowork,butit’saSaturday.当你早上醒来......
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![开心一笑:FBI的工作 A Case for FBI]()
ThephoneringsatFBIheadquarters.FBI总部的电话响了。"Hello,isthistheFBI?"“你好，是FBI吗?”"Yesitis,Whatdoyouwant?"thevoicereplies.一个声音回答说：“是的，您有什么事？”"I'mcallingtoreportmyneighborTom.He......
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![开心一笑:对胖子好一点]()
对胖子好一点，因为有一天他们可能会救你的命。......
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![开心一笑:一招区分蘑菇与毒蕈]()
YoungerScout:HowcanItellthedifferencebetweenamushroomandatoadstool（毒菌）?OlderScout:Justeatonebeforeyougotobed.Ifyouwakeupthenextmorning,itwasamushroom.年少的童子军：我怎样才能把蘑菇和毒蕈区别开呢？年长的童......
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![开心一笑:投票结果是10比1]()
我本来是准备早起去跑步的，但是我的脚趾头投票反对我，投票结果是10:1。......
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![开心一笑: 立遗嘱, 搬起石头打自己的脚]()
Myfather,whowas14yearsoldthanmymother,hadbeenworkingonhiswill.Atafamilydinnerhetoldusthathehadprovidedwellformother,butthefamilyhomewouldgotousfivechildrenifsheremarried.我爸比我妈大14岁，最近一直在写遗......
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![开心一笑:牧师如何对付蝙蝠]()
Threepastors三个牧师的故事Threepastorsinthesouthwerehavinglunchinadiner.Onesaid,Youknow,sincesummerstartedI'vebeenhavingtroublewithbatsinmyloftandatticatchurch.I'vetriedeverything—noise,......
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![开心一笑:准确数字 An Exact Number]()
AtouristwasvisitingNewMexicoandwasamazedatthedinosaurboneslyingabout."Howoldarethesebones?"thetouristaskedanelderlyNativeAmerican,whoservedasaguide."Exactlyonehundredmillionandthreeyearsold."Howcanyou......
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![开心一笑:吵架可以减肥]()
Twoladieswereshopping.Whentheystartedtodiscusstheirhomelives,onesaid,两个女人逛商场的时候讨论起她们的家庭生活，一个说道："SeemslikeallAlfredandIdoisfight.I'vebeensoupsetthatI'velost20pounds."”好......
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![开心一笑:考试中的"一分一美元"]()
Aprofessorwasgivingabigtestonedaytohisstudents.Hehandedoutallofthetestsandwentbacktohisdesktowait.一天，教授正在给学生们监考。他发下试卷，然后回到讲台前等待。Oncethetestwasoverthestudentsallhandedthetests......
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![开心一笑:什么都有,你要买什么?]()
Astoremanagerheardaclerktellacustomer.No,ma'am,wehaven'thadanyforawhile,anditdoesn'tlookasifwe'llbegettingsoon.一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。H......
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![开心一笑:冷静,冷静!]()
Inthesupermarketwasamanpushingacartwhichcontainedascreaming,bellowingbaby.Thegentlemankeptrepeatingsoftly,"Don'tgetexcited,Albert;don'tscream,Albert;don'tyell,Albert;keepcalm,Albert."一个......
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![开心一笑:更性感一点]()
我只是想更性感一点……......
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![开心一笑:The Fourth Element 构成世界的肥皂]()
Teacher:Whatarethefourelementofnature?Student:Fire,air,earth,and...and...Teacher:Andwhat?Justthinkitover,whatdoyouwashyourhandswith?Student:Soap!老师：自然界的四大元素是什么？学生：火、气、和。。。和。。。......
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![开心一笑:婚姻就是这么一回事]()
ThisismarriageallaboutMywife-to-beandIwereatthecountyclerk'sofficeforourmarriagelicense.Afterrecordingthevitalinformation—names,datesofbirth,etc.—theclerkhandedmeourlicenseanddeadpanned,"Norefun......
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![开心一笑: 商店竞争中的佼佼者]()
Threecompetingstoreownersrentedadjoiningshopsinamall.Observerswaitedformayhemtoensue.三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺，旁观者等着瞧好戏。Theretailerontherightputuphugesignssaying,G......
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![开心一笑:尴尬的搭讪 awkward dating]()
WhentheyoungwaitressinthecaféinTom'sbuildingstartedwavinghelloeveryday.Tomwasflattered,forshewasatleast15yearsyoungerthanhe.在汤姆工作的大楼里有一个咖啡屋，那儿总有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。汤姆有......
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![开心一笑:袋鼠到底能跳过高]()
TheabilityoftheKangarooThezoobuiltaspecialeight-foot-highenclosureforitsnewlyacquiredkangaroo,butthenextmorningtheanimalwasfoundhoppingaroundoutside.Theheightofthefencewasincreasedto15feet,butthekanga......
