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![开心一笑:期待机遇来敲门]()
Opportunitypagedme,beepedme,linkedme,e-mailedme,faxedme,andspammedme.ButIwasexpectingittoknock!机遇曾招呼我，它嘟嘟地叫我，联系我，给我发邮件和发传真，还发给我垃圾邮件。而我却一直在期待它来敲门!......
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![开心一笑:想死的心是一样的]()
Thoughthemethodstodiearedifferent,theybothwanttodie.虽然方法不一样，想死的心是一样的。......
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![第496期:国外那些让你会意一笑的酸奶问候语]()
One：YogurtlidThiswoman'syogurtlidbrightenedherday.这个女人的酸奶盖儿点亮了她的一天。Evenyogurthassomethingtosay.即使是酸奶也有话要说。yogurtn.酸奶lidn.盖子Two：snackpacket零食包Thismessagewashiddenun......
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![开心一笑:女儿的音乐课是一笔财富]()
Jack:Mydaughter'smusiclessonsareafortunetome.John:Howisthat?Jack:Theyenabledmetobuytheneighbor'shousesathalfprice.杰克：我女儿的音乐课对我来说就是一笔财富呀。约翰：这是怎么回事呢？杰克：因为音乐课使我......
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![开心一笑:丑女 An Ugly Woman]()
Mike:Myauntwasveryembarrassedwhenshewasaskedtotakeoffhermaskattheparty.迈克：一次舞会上，当大家要求我姑姑拿掉她的面具时，她非常尴尬。Mary:Whywasthat?玛丽：为什么会那样呢？Mike:Shewasn'twearingone.迈克：她根本就......
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![开心一笑:女人们爱哭的原因]()
你也许知道女人们爱哭，但你永远不知道她们为什么哭，研究表明，60%以上的女性自己也不知道为什么自己会哭……......
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![开心一笑: 会错意的生日礼物 园艺手套]()
FormonthsIhintedthatIneededanewweddingring,sinceIhaddevelopedanallergytogold.Onmybirthday,whileIwasgardening,myhusbandaskedmeforgiftsuggestions.Iheldmyhandsupandsaid,"Well,you'llnoticethatmyhandsa......
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![开心一笑:师生问答之我爱炸鸡]()
Inclasstheteachershowedpicturesofvariousbirds.Thenheaskedoneofthestudents,"Whatkindofbirddoyoulikebest,Jack?"Jackthoughtamoment,thenanswered,"Friedchicken,sir."老师在课堂上向学生们展示了各种各样的鸟的......
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![开心一笑:FBI的工作 A Case for FBI]()
ThephoneringsatFBIheadquarters.FBI总部的电话响了。"Hello,isthistheFBI?"“你好，是FBI吗?”"Yesitis,Whatdoyouwant?"thevoicereplies.一个声音回答说：“是的，您有什么事？”"I'mcallingtoreportmyneighborTom.He......
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![开心一笑:我可以干得慢一些 I Could Do It Slower]()
Patient:Whatdoyouchargeforpullingatooth?Dentist:Fiftydollars.Patient:Fiftydollarsforacoupleofminutes'work?Dentist:Well,Icoulddoitslower,ifyoulike.病人：拔一颗牙收费多少？牙医：50美元。病人：只几分钟的活儿......
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![开心一笑:吵架可以减肥]()
Twoladieswereshopping.Whentheystartedtodiscusstheirhomelives,onesaid,两个女人逛商场的时候讨论起她们的家庭生活，一个说道："SeemslikeallAlfredandIdoisfight.I'vebeensoupsetthatI'velost20pounds."”好......
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![开心一笑:我们折衷一下吧]()
我们折衷一下吧。你做我说的一切，我说你做的一切。......
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![开心一笑:两天VS三周(让人无语啊)]()
参考译文：我不喜欢批评人。但我们刚请了你2天，你却已经落下3个星期的工作了?......
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![开心一笑:睡前祷告 bedtime prayer]()
Juliewassayingherbedtimeprayers."PleaseGod,"shesaid,"MakeNaplesthecapitalofItaly.MakeNaplesthecapitalofItaly."朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“祷告上帝，”她说，“让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。让那不勒斯成为意大利的......
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![开心一笑:死后的探望]()
AnelderlywomanfromBrooklyndecidedtoprepareherwillandmakeherfinalrequests.Shetoldherrabbishehadtwofinalrequests.First,shewantedtobecremated,andsecond,shewantedherashesscatteredoverBloomingdales.布鲁克......
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![开心一笑:袋鼠到底能跳过高]()
TheabilityoftheKangarooThezoobuiltaspecialeight-foot-highenclosureforitsnewlyacquiredkangaroo,butthenextmorningtheanimalwasfoundhoppingaroundoutside.Theheightofthefencewasincreasedto15feet,butthekanga......
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![开心一笑:洗苹果的有效方法]()
AUsefulWayFather:Jack,whydoyoudrinksomuchwater?Jack:Ihavejusthadanapple,Dad.Father:What'sthatgottodowithit?Jack:Iforgottowashtheapple.爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀？杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果，爸爸。爸爸：可是这......
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![开心一笑:时间对猪有什么意义?]()
Onedayavisitorfromthecitycametoasmallruralareatodrivearoundthecountryroads，seehowthefarmslooked，andfarmersearnedtheirliving.Thecitymansawafarmerinhisyard，holdingapigupinhishands，andliftingitsothatthepigco......
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![开心一笑:错献殷勤 Not Funny大纲]()
Atadinnerpartyashyyoungmanhadbeentryingtothinkofsomethingnicetosaytohishostess.Atlasthesawhischancewhensheturnedtohimandremarked,"Whatasmallappetiteyouhavetonight,Mr.Jones.""Tositnexttoyou,"herepliedg......
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![开心一笑:上帝的一秒钟与一百万]()
AmangoestochurchandstartstalkingtoGod.Hesays:"God,whatisamilliondollarstoyou?"andGodsays:"Apenny".Thenthemansays:"God,whatisamillionyearstoyou?"andGodsays:"asecond".Thenthemansays:"God,canIhaveapenny?......
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![开心一笑:到底谁逆行?]()
Asaseniorcitizenwasdrivingdownthefreeway,hiscarphonerang.Answering,heheardhiswife'svoiceurgentlywarninghim,"Herman,Ijustheardonthenewsthatthere'sacargoingthewrongwayon280.Pleasebecareful!"一个......
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![开心一笑:一家人的迪斯尼之旅]()
OnatriptoDisneyWorldinFlorida,myhusbandandIadnourtwochildrendevotedourselveswholeheartedlytothewondersofthisattraction.Afterthreeexhaustingdays,weheadedforhome.弗罗里达州的迪斯尼乐园是一个迷人的地方。......
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![开心一笑:热情好客的小男孩]()
SoHospitabletheboyis!Thehostessapologizedtoherunexpectedguestforservinganapple-piewithoutanycheese.Thelittleboyofthefamilylefttheroomquietlyforamomentandreturnedwithapieceofcheesewhichhelaidontheguest......
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![开心一笑:模仿鸟儿 Imitate Birds]()
Amantriedtogetajobinastageshow.一个人想在一个舞台剧中找份工作。"Whatcanyoudo?"askedtheproducer.“你能干什么呢？”负责人问。"Imitatebirds,"themansaid.“模仿鸟儿，”那人说。"Areyoukidding?"answeredtheproduc......
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![开心一笑:谁更专业?]()
你必须了解上千种疾病，而我只需明确我得了哪种病。你看我们谁更专业点？......
